That Awkward Phase

     So I went home this weekend.  Not the place I've made my home for only about 8 weeks - the home I've grown up in.  The home my family still lives in.  And it was awkward.

     I felt like I didn't fit.  My family had just continued their lives at home, just a big thing was missing - Me.  And it was almost like they didn't even notice.   In the last couple weeks, there have been some BIG changes in my house.  My little sister got her driver's permit.  That is HUGE....and how did I find out? It was casually mentioned over the phone in the middle of a rather taut conversation with my Mom.  And yeah, we were arguing about stupid stuff....

     And today's post probably isn't going to seem that uplifted.  Simply because I'm not feeling uplifted today - I don't really know how I'm feeling.  Anxious if anything, and I don't even know why!

    But I want to stress how important those family relationships are.  I never really realized just how much I valued mine until I came home and realized I hadn't been putting that much into mine.  I've been SO caught up in my own life, I didn't make the time for the big things in their lives.  I only talk to my family every couple days, usually to complain about something going not so great at school.  I need to stop using my family as an outlet for me to vent about a bad day, or about something I think is going wrong.  I need to spend more time pouring into my family the love that has been given to me, the happiness that I've been feeling lately!

     As I'm writing this, my brother is off somewhere by himself, my sister has barricaded herself alone in a room to listen to her music (not the uplifting Christian "crap" I've been listening to - her words, not mine), and my parents are at a party.  So yeah, I kinda feel like I don't belong again.  And how bad is that? You don't feel like you fit in at your own home.  So where do I fit in? Where does God want me to fit in right now?